I never get to do what I want to do. I can't please anyone. I don't know what I want to do. There is never any time for me. My needs and desires are always left out. I'm only doing this to please them. I am just a doormat. Nobody cares about what I want to do. I have no talent. I can't do anything right. All I do is procrastinate. Nothing ever works for me, and so on. Plus what ever else you have created for yourself. All these I have heard and more.

Whenever I ask a new client what is going on in his / her life, I usually get one of the above answers. Or, maybe several of these answers. They really think they know the problem. But, I know these complaints are outer effects of inner thought patterns. Beneath the inner thought patterns is a deeper, more fundamental pattern that is the basis of all the outer effects.

I listen to the words they use as I ask some basic questions:

• What is happening in your life?

• How is your health?

• What do you do for a living?

• Do you like your work?

• How are your finances?

• How is your love life?

• How did the last relationship end?

• Tell me about your childhood, briefly.